Miss Things, you’ll have to forgive the Queen for being groggy this morning. I was up all night shopping online at Macy’s, Saks Fifth Avenue and H&M.
So we start with a multi-media fashion show complete with a Muzak version of “American Woman.” Next week I’m sure they’ll have Cirque du Soleil flying through the auditorium. The Queen knows immediately that the focus of this competition is not really design, which I still haven’t figured out is a bad thing, a good thing–or simply a different thing. One thing becomes clear to me: this is not a Project Runway knock off. It becomes clear rather early that there is no real narrative. We’re not going to follow a consistent story–the show is not about that. The show really isn’t about designer personalities. It’s about selling clothes. And although initially the Queen was turned off by that, it was kind of refreshing to be reminded up front that personality alone was not going to get your clothing purchased in the “real world.” This show is kind of like following the graduates of PR from the creative process to the business of getting their stuff bought by actual consumers.
For those of you that didn’t watch, let me see if I can break down the premise in 100 words or less:
Each week the designers will present a garment based on a specific set of parameters that are given to them. Mentors will critique them, and have buyers bid on their work. If a buyer buys their garment, then they are safe, and move on to next week. If they do not sell their work, then they are up for elimination. At the end of the show three designers who did not sell their work must face the mentors–who will “save” one of the contestants. The other two must face the buyers, who will send one of them home. (99 words, bitches!)
The inclusions of the Mentors and the Buyers was pretty dang cool. Seeing Jessica Simpson and Nicole Richie express themselves as successful businesswomen who own lucrative clothing lines is a welcome feature. Hearing snippets of their conversations during the fashion shows was a cute inclusion. And the buyers add a wonderful reality check. And you KNOW the Queen appreciates that women of color are put in such positions of power.
For the most part, let’s run down the designers in another post. The Queen is very excited by the boys of color that are included in the cast–jail bait though they may be for His Highness–it seems like they show potential. The proverbial irritating pebbles in the shoe from last night’s bunch were, of course, Oscar and Nicholas.
Oscar Fierro– Oh come on, girl! Does anyone STILL think this type of personality will sell in 2012? I’ve no doubt that he is genuinely flamboyant, but if you can’t back up this annoying shit with fashion flawlessness then TONE IT DOWN. All I kept thinking watching his clothes walk the runway was: high end beauty salon smocks. Maybe a buyer for a Cosmetic Supply Store will pick up his stuff.
Nicholas Bowes– He’s a fool. There was nothing about his designs that made me even raise an eyebrow. Nothing about his leather jacket that stood out in any way. Maybe he could name his line: Misogynist, because after that unbelievable display of chauvinism, those are the only people who would buy his clothing. His offing alone was a reason for me to watch this show again.
It is oxymoronic to bemoan the commercialism of Commercial Television. The medium was virtually created to sell stuff. However there is nothing that says doing so can’t be elevated to an artistic level. There is something rather brilliant about the concept. Form and function for selling fashion. QVC with go-go dancers. The Queen is intrigued…if not completely sold.