Cawfee Talk V

FBQ Gets Inoculated

First of all I have to give a HUGE shout out to Ms. Sharon Needles for mentioning the Queen’s little blog on her Facebook page. Proving once again what an elegant, classy, FIERCE corpse bride she really is. Thank you for your kindness and the exquisite entertainment you bring to so many of us fans every Monday night.
Read On Macduff!>>


Cawfee Talk IV

Not bad for a dang cell phone camera, huh?

You know, gray days in the city don’t get enough credit. There’s something magic about the the way the subtle shades of charcoal and white clouds slowly swirl and dance with the buildings. The mist rising across the waters of the Hudson, and the occasional sound of a ship’s horn cutting across the relative quiet of the morning. It’s slightly heady, and whispers the promise of possibility for a new day.

It’s amazing what a venti cup of Starbucks can do for your imagination.

The Queen is working on his musings about this week’s episode of Untucked. Until he gets that out, here are a couple of things to talk about around the Deer Park tank:
Let’s Read On, shall we?

Fashion Star S1,E1-A Clothing Catalog viewed from your Couch

Miss Things, you’ll have to forgive the Queen for being groggy this morning. I was up all night shopping online at Macy’s, Saks Fifth Avenue and H&M.

Practice a little more with the teleprompter, dear.

So we start with a multi-media fashion show complete with a Muzak version of “American Woman.” Next week I’m sure they’ll have Cirque du Soleil flying through the auditorium. The Queen knows immediately that the focus of this competition is not really design, which I still haven’t figured out is a bad thing, a good thing–or simply a different thing. One thing becomes clear to me: this is not a Project Runway knock off. It becomes clear rather early that there is no real narrative. We’re not going to follow a consistent story–the show is not about that. The show really isn’t about designer personalities. It’s about selling clothes. And although initially the Queen was turned off by that, it was kind of refreshing to be reminded up front that personality alone was not going to get your clothing purchased in the “real world.” This show is kind of like following the graduates of PR from the creative process to the business of getting their stuff bought by actual consumers.

For those of you that didn’t watch, let me see if I can break down the premise in 100 words or less:

Each week the designers will present a garment based on a specific set of parameters that are given to them. Mentors will critique them, and have buyers bid on their work. If a buyer buys their garment, then they are safe, and move on to next week. If they do not sell their work, then they are up for elimination. At the end of the show three designers who did not sell their work must face the mentors–who will “save” one of the contestants. The other two must face the buyers, who will send one of them home. (99 words, bitches!)

The inclusions of the Mentors and the Buyers was pretty dang cool. Seeing Jessica Simpson and Nicole Richie express themselves as successful businesswomen who own lucrative clothing lines is a welcome feature. Hearing snippets of their conversations during the fashion shows was a cute inclusion. And the buyers add a wonderful reality check. And you KNOW the Queen appreciates that women of color are put in such positions of power.

For the most part, let’s run down the designers in another post. The Queen is very excited by the boys of color that are included in the cast–jail bait though they may be for His Highness–it seems like they show potential. The proverbial irritating pebbles in the shoe from last night’s bunch were, of course, Oscar and Nicholas.

Oscar FierroOh come on, girl! Does anyone STILL think this type of personality will sell in 2012? I’ve no doubt that he is genuinely flamboyant, but if you can’t back up this annoying shit with fashion flawlessness then TONE IT DOWN. All I kept thinking watching his clothes walk the runway was: high end beauty salon smocks. Maybe a buyer for a Cosmetic Supply Store will pick up his stuff.

Nicholas BowesHe’s a fool. There was nothing about his designs that made me even raise an eyebrow. Nothing about his leather jacket that stood out in any way. Maybe he could name his line: Misogynist, because after that unbelievable display of chauvinism, those are the only people who would buy his clothing. His offing alone was a reason for me to watch this show again.

It is oxymoronic to bemoan the commercialism of Commercial Television. The medium was virtually created to sell stuff. However there is nothing that says doing so can’t be elevated to an artistic level. There is something rather brilliant about the concept. Form and function for selling fashion. QVC with go-go dancers. The Queen is intrigued…if not completely sold.

Are you?

RPDR S4, E7: Dragazines-Top & Bottom

Not to toot the Queen’s own horn (okay, specifically to toot the Queen’s own horn), but I realized something after watching this week’s episodes: except for the Drag part, I would tear up Drag Race. Unlike most of the dolls, I understand EXACTLY what is required in each of the challenges. If Bianca was still doing Drag, he would kill it. He and I talked into the wee hours of the morning about whether the show has peaked, or if it just started out on such a high, that it would be almost impossible to keep up the same expectations from week to week. Your thoughts?

Nevertheless it was an enjoyable episode with enough laughs and tears for even the most jaded viewers.

It started out with many people’s favorite mini-challenge: throwing shade. This is an art form that I have a really big problem with. It’s very much like the phenomenon in the black community called “Playing the Dozens.” Putting down someone in a clever way is still putting someone down. Bianca, however, insists that there are positive aspects to the ritual. He believes that for the giver, it promotes quick thinking and observational skills; for the receiver, it fosters a thicker skin and ability to bounce back from negative comments.

The Queen has to admit that he laughed out loud at a few of the jibes. But still maintains that we are, in some ways, glorifying abuse. And if we are going to do that, AT LEAST have the decency to give the win to Sharon Needles. She was MUCH funnier than Latrice.

So Latrice wins, and we are introduced to the Main Challenge: create your own magazine. The queens had a tough time with this one. The reasons why are debated by myself and Bianca and we part company on our hypothesis. Bianca thinks that the contestants, knowing that certain challenges are basically inevitable, should have prepared in advance for Snatch Game, some kind of video production and a “literary” challenge. I tend to believe that most of the lady boys DO try to prepare. The problem is that most of them don’t have a clue as to how to do it. Such was the case with this episode. Not knowing layout or design–and most especially how to be witty or tongue-in-cheek, most of the magazines fell flat. The prime example being Jiggly.Here’s one of the places where this self appointed Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent Coach could help. A good coach or director is good at posing questions that lead a person to discover information for themselves. As much as Ru tried to help, all he really said was “be funny.” But Jiggly doesn’t SEE himself as funny, so the suggestion was pretty much meaningless to him. It wasn’t until he hit the Main Stage and had his moment with RuPaul that he was able equate his natural sense of humor to the challenge. I think a lot of the dolls were like that. They just don’t get the concepts of Parody and/or Satire when it comes to these types of contests. Of course Jiggly wasn’t helped by being sabotaged by someone she trusted. I swear, I think she’s the worst of any queen, any season. Agree? Disagree?
More of the individual issues (get it…issues…magazines…GET IT?!) when we trash discuss the dolls in the next post. But for now…

It’s Condragulations to Phi Phi O’Hara

But before we get to her (and to give me a moment to suppress my own bile), the Queen thought that Pam Tillis and Regina King were SUPERB judges! Both their insight and their humor was such a welcome addition to the panel. One of my favorite lines of the night (which I think all of these queens should have tattooed on their chests) was Pam’s astute comment, “I never equate fabulous Drag Queens and ‘cute.’ I wanna be devastated.”

What pains me most about Miss O’Hara’s win, is that I can’t disagree with it. She looked great last night. And overall–in the light of the rest of the mediocre fare–had one of the better magazines. She needs to buy Kenya Michaels a BIG bouquet of roses for the makeup tips. I think that the only other person the win possibly could have gone to was Sharon. However that would give an extreme advantage to Ms. Needles which I think the Producers want to avoid. Unfortunately it’s going to make Phi Phi ubearable–which, of course, makes for good trash TV.

And it’s Sashay Away to Miss Jiggly Caliente.

The Queen agrees with Bianca that it was time for her to go. However we also agree that there is a lot of talent there. With a few more years of maturation and coaching, she will really be a force with which to be reckoned. In the end, she actually went out as a dignified thirty year-old. I wish her the absolute best.

As always, what do you Miss Things think?

The Queen will be watching Fashion Star this evening. Let’s muse about it tomorrow.

Cawfee Talk II

All right Miss Things.

Let’s gather in the Break Room. There’s a Supervisor’s Meeting today. We’ve got a couple of hours while they plan the meeting to talk about the plans for their next meeting.

Let’s discuss some fabulous, random, innocuous crap.
Continue reading