FBQ Cawfee Talk XV

The Queen is still on a high from our Brunch in the Rockies. Either that, or I’m getting woozy from sniffing my nephew’s Magic Markers.

Whichever it is, I had a ball with you fabulous Miss Things. And I can’t think of a better way to have celebrated my 100th Post. Now that we’re all back to the grind, let’s take a break and muse on matters which have caught my attention.

Happy Sharon Needles Day!!!

I hope you withdrew all of the funds you needed yesterday, since the banks are closed for this National Holiday. What? They’re not? Well they SHOULD be. I understand totally what she’s trying to say when she questions the slogan and movement, but she is living (or dead) proof that It CAN Get Better. Man, if growing up I had someone like her to look up to when I was getting chased up an alley by a gang of boys literally kicking my butt, maybe it wouldn’t have taken me so long to understand that it wasn’t ME. It was THEM. I bet Sharon never in her wildest dreams would have imagined it either. If there was ever any doubt that Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent will get you somewhere, this bitch bashed it on the side of her hearse.

Condragulations Sharon. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer ghoul.

Miss Ru’s School for Girls

This picture hasn’t been airbrushed…it’s been air PRESSURE WASHED.

Well, RuPaul’s Drag U is less than a week away, and the Queen is still not quite sure how to blog about it.

Of course I’m excited about seeing all the Lady Boys past and present (except for Delta Work. She still leaves a nasty taste in my mouth). And it looks like they might have made some changes to the format which will give it more relevance to the contestants’ actual lives.

The problem is that there is no real through-line or narrative to Drag U. And the conflicts and rivalries between the professors are fake-assed and poorly scripted. What fun it would have been to see Phi Phi and Sharon carry their feud into this program! We could watch Phi Phi break down when the women that Sharon mentored won every face-off between them. Ahh, well…

However I’ll be watching. It’s gay men in makeup. What’s not to love? Will you be watching?

I’m curious. All you female Miss Things out there: would you want a drag queen giving you tips on hair, fashion and makeup?

The Sandusky Trial

Sketch by Art Lien

I work hard to keep an open mind. I really do. I think I make a good juror. And where many others bemoan their fate when called for Jury Duty, I look forward to it with gusto. I feel that I can be fair and relatively objective and impartial when it comes to weighing guilt vs. innocence. And as Foreman, I’ve felt successful in facilitating jury room discussions that have helped others separate their personal beliefs from the facts of the case.

Except when it comes to Child Abuse.

I know the trial has just started. And when I can stomach it, I work hard to read and listen with as much impartiality as I can muster. But when I read that an 18 year boy is sobbing on the witness stand, all I can hear are his cries. All I can think about is innocence lost. No, not lost–ripped away with no mercy and pure selfish satisfaction and betrayal. I would recuse myself. Because in my mind he is not only guilty: he is a sub-human creature whose brain needs to be removed and studied for criminal abnormality.

And on a MUCH lighter note:

Since there was such a lively repartee in the Comments section around this post, I thought you’d beat me within an inch of my life like some more. So Q-tel has introduced another collection of:

With relentless lyrics and melodies such as:

Who could forget how beautiful Cher was before the plastic surgery when she sang:

Or the Partridge Family with Danny Bonaduce before he became a Pain in the Ass singing:

Or Simon and Garfunkel–the guys who were in EVERYBODY’S head back then–singing:

All right. You know what to do. Give us the next round of songs playing in an endless loop planted in YOUR brain. The further back you can reach into your past–the better!

Hope you all are having a great Sharon Needles day!


13 thoughts on “FBQ Cawfee Talk XV

  1. Wow, I think I have every one of those songs (except Wildfir…LAME!!) on my iPod!!! What does this mean????

  2. Definitely watching Drag U–and would LOVE to be on it, although I don’t know if I would be an acceptable contestant. I’ve already got the attitude, I just need the wardrobe so I can play dress-up with the ladyboys and see if I can out-queen the drag queens. 🙂

    As for Sandusky, I don’t know if I could be impartial, either. As is, I want to take a cattle prod to him in the worst way, but I don’t think there really is a punishment on this earth that’s truly worthy of what this man should get for the lives he’s ruined. I just hope that he does get punished and that the young men that he has hurt and their families can find some kind of peace and healing once this trial is over.

    Thanks for the song list, btw–one of my friends got the song “Kung Fu Fighting” stuck in my head today and that was just what I needed to dislodge it. 🙂

    • “I just hope that he does get punished and that the young men that he has hurt and their families can find some kind of peace and healing once this trial is over.”

      Let the church say “amen” to that.

      As far as Drag U is concerned: I personally think you would out-fierce the lady boys right out of the park. Other than dressing for a body-type I’m going to be really curious as to what tips they will give these women about subtle makeup and dressing for daytime.

      Although Manila did do a series on NewNowNext on makeup for women, so we’ll see.

      Kung Fu Fighting huh? I guess I asked for it. I can now look forward to Funky Billy Chin and Little Sammy Chung kicking through my head all NIGHT. 😀

  3. So funny – after the last ’round of DragU, I told my husband that I’d love to be a contestant. He looked at me with horror: “So you’d dress all sexy and wear makeup and stomp down a runway high heels? But that’s just not you!” (if you knew us, you’d know he means this as a compliment – I am blessed with a man who doesn’t need a girly girl.)

    I pointed out that the only way to make me to look like I belong in heels and makeup was if I was imitating a man; every time I try to do it on my own I look and feel like I’m in a costume. I’m pretty OK with myself in my current frumpy, dowdy self and don’t really want to be made over, but I’d love to do it – if just to play dress-up and hang out with the lady boys.

    • Well, based on the promo above, I’m hoping that the queens and the show are going to focus more on bringing out the natural beauty and personality of their students. I don’t know if you watch Next Food Network Star, but there is this young woman– Michele Ragussis–who I would say dresses in a masculine “tomboy” style. She is very attractive and I think her clothes suit her. Still I fantasize about dressing her. But I wouldn’t want to take away any of her style. I’d just love to augment some of her shirts and pants with similar pieces made out of softer fabrics and maybe see if she were into adding a some eyeliner to enhance her beautiful eyes. I just think so many “makeover” experts are more concerned with creating a look that THEY think will work, rather than discovering who their client is at the core and enhancing that.

      As for your husband: honey, I would KILL for a man who could sing Billy Joel’s Just The Way You Are to me and mean it.

      • Believe you me, love – I have a tiger by the tail, and I KNOW it! No idea how I lucked into this life, but I count those blessings every. day.

        You can feel free to come up to Chic-aw-go and dress me anytime…

  4. I’m on the tomboy side of fashion by preference (Also, a woman I know describes her style in published essays as ” ’70s lesbian” and I am pretty sure I trend in that direction) – but I’m short with a defined waist & hips, so I can’t really pull off dressing like a boy, however much I like that look. I don’t know how many drag queens have honed their analytical skills on my precise set of dress issues, but I’d LOVE to have hair & makeup tutoring from someone who understood what they were doing and could articulate it. Yeah, drag stage makeup isn’t low-maintenance straight gal day makeup, but the insight into proportion, color, shading and generally fooling the eye would have to be useful.

    Child abuse tears me up. I would have a hard time on such a jury, but so would most people, I think. The drive to protect children and raise them to be the next generation is pretty hard wired.

    And your subversive little mission to remind me of songs I hadn’t thought about in years is cracking me up. Though the banner “ad” is what caused my daughter to raise her eyebrows at me as I sit here, chortling at the computer.

    “Wildfire” is pretty harsh, but Jade wins for the night. “Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting” is stuck in my head. Even worse, it’s only *part* of the chorus that’s running through my head. I’m gonna have to look the darn song up so I can complete the chorus. That’s evil, making me LOOK UP my earworm.

    • Ack! I agree. The only thing worse than an earworm is having just one part of the song in your head.

      Right now, “I Will Survive” is stuck in my head. Either NPR or BBC radio played it this morning. Oh well, it could be worse. It could be “I’ve Never Been to Me”, which is one of the worst songs in the history of music. Every time I get it stuck in my head, I hear “Oh Lady, Hey Lady” is Jerry Lewis’ voice.

      On the other hand, “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves” is one of the greatest songs in the history of words being put together to music.

      • “I’ve Never Been to Me” – argh. Why did you do that to me? Although my nomination for worst song is history is “Midnight at the Oasis”.

      • “I’ve Never Been to Me” is Just Awful. Thankfully, I hate it so much it won’t go earworm for me.

        And I agree – “Gypsies, etc.” is an excellent pop song.

        I can’t play this round, though, because the songs on replay in my head today were ones I *like* – “Stand” by R.E.M. at the moment. The other, the chorus from Gil Scott Heron’s “Johannesburg” borderlines earworm but has such good energy in my mind’s eye/ear/whatever that I forgive.

        I’m just having one of those days that I’m in a good mood despite all the same stuff that drags me down on other days, I guess. A blessing.

  5. RE: The Sandusky trial. I really can’t even talk about it without getting angry and sick. It’s disgusting and horrifying beyond belief. The defense wanted to move jury selection out of Centre county, the county in which State College is located. The request was denied, but just moving it to another county wouldn’t have helped much anywayl. Penn State football is like a religion in half the state. I think they’d have to go to another country to find 12 people who could be objective about this case.

    If Sandusky is convicted, I imagine prison isn’t going to be a picnic for him. He’ll suffer. I have no doubt about that.

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