Saturday Errands 6/9/2012

Well it’s Saturday. Here in the Washington DC Metropolitan area it is forcast to be to be hot, but relatively dry. Not like the rest of the week (and more than likely the rest of the summer), which is supposed to be in the nineties and feel like Satan’s Sauna. So before the Queen heads out to get a hair cut (which is getting to be more and more singular in quantity); find a Universal Battery for the dang house phone (why do we even bother having house phones any more?) and enjoying this beautiful day, I thought we’d spend a few moments kee keeing.

Weighty Wardrobe Matter

The Queen is Fat. When one takes up two seats on the “A” train, there is no pretending any more. It is shallow comfort looking around the subway car and seeing more and more of my fellow passenger’s asses doing the same. The only questions become how do I feel about this phenomenon, and what I plan on DOING about it?

Right now, I plan on supplementing my wardrobe.

Like so many people who struggle with weight, with so many sizes of clothing to accommodate my fluctuating tonnage, my closet looks like the sales floor of a department store. Barney’s or Ralph Lauren, of course–but a department store nevertheless. However it seems that no matter how many garments I have to choose from, I still have difficulty finding a thing to wear. There is a website that I refer to rather often for trends and articles regarding Dapper Dons of Size. It’s called Chubstr. While it tends to cater to a younger set, it works hard to be as diverse as possible and I really recommend as a starting point for any chunky men in your life looking for fashion.

Your mission–should you choose to accept it–is to help the Queen by answering the question: In general, what kinds of clothing look good on fat guys?

Forget about the clothes: I’d like two of the model please in café au lait and dark chocolate. WOOF!

Of course I know that it’s all about body type and proportion (I’m GAY, for goodness sake). But there are some general silhouettes that a lot of Guys of Girth default to. I am no exception. Loose shirts and fuller fitting pants are comfortable, and give the wearer the mental illusion that they are somehow “hiding” their weight. However the bigger I get, the more I notice folks from Ringling Brothers following me around trying to find out where I get my tents made. And as I am short and round all over, the wrong color combination can elicit cries of “HEY KOOL-AID” as I make my way down the street.



While trends seem to go towards looser, flowing silhouettes, there are some more tailored items that the Queen could be interested in. The problem is that my ample rear end and belly often completely obscure the lines that the designer intended. On occasion I have been mistaken for Cedric the Entertainer–not so much because we look alike (although I can see a resemblance), but because of the way we dress. I am less likely to go for some of his more colorful Steve Harvey, Sunday-go-to-meeting looks; but I do tend towards preppy clothing. They say people tend to dress in clothing from the era that felt most comfortable to them. I know that the real issue is the weight itself. It is all too clear that the rapid and significant gains are an indicator of other things, and that the real work is figuring out new solutions for coping. The Queen just wants to look super chic on the way to Weight Watchers meetings.

It’s All Gleek To Me

Oh. My. God.

I avoided The Glee Project for the same reason that I initially avoided the Harry Potter book sensation: everyone I knew kept gushing over it.

So I figured I’d hate it.

Once again, I was wrong.

I just happened to be scrolling through the channels (a function our kids take for granted–see below), and I happened to find it. I was charmed. It is one of the first shows that I’ve seen chronicle the process of professional auditioning with a modicum of truth. Sure it’s got to be entertaining (and it is), but so many shows romanticized it (Fame, or sensationalize it (American Idol), that it’s refreshing to see a format that actually resonates with my experience as a performer looking for work.

And the Queen has to admit that it was a pleasure to root for a young person of color because they showed talent and promise–not just because of their skin tone. Mario seems to be a real contender. Talent wise, I don’t think he shone as brightly as he could have in this episode–but I do think there is a force in that young man which is formidable.

One caveat about the show. And it’s the same one I have about the whole Glee phenomenon in general: I don’t know that I believe diversity is a core value for the producers yet. Sure, on the surface there is this wonderful mix of people and cultures. It was almost breathtaking to see the range represented–from paraplegic to transgender. However little things telegraphed a lack of an intrinsic understanding on the part of the producers regarding true diversity. For example, when Lea Michele was introduced–it was a visual reveal. Mario had to ask Tyler who the guest artist was. The producers did not think about the needs of the entire group, and have the reveal be both aural and visual. Granted that’s what’s going to happen in most auditions he goes to–and he’s probably quite used to it. However it’s one thing to say you’re looking for diversity, and another to actually embody what that means in every aspect of your production. It’s a little quibble. However little quibbles are often the difference between being cast as a lead, or the third spear holder from the left.

Still, I will be watching. Should the Queen blog about it?

Remember When…

As I witness my newest great-great niece–who is less than two months old–begin to learn about the world, I’ve come to the realization that there are things from my generation she will never experience. We already have a group of people living on this planet that have no working knowledge of what a record is. What’s coming after the cd and mp3 are out (or are they already)? Funny or Die has a list of 11 Activities she will never experience.

Hope your day is Divine.

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3 thoughts on “Saturday Errands 6/9/2012

  1. More of you to love, hon, that’s all I’m sayin’… 🙂

    Being of the queen-sized, short-and-round persuasion myself, I completely sympathize, especially with the wardrobe problems. Clothes shopping can be all kinds of depressing sometimes, especially when you see some glorious outfit on display and then find that the only way you would be able to wear it is through major surgery or a minor miracle.

    As I am six months away from the big 5-0, I have vowed to be as small as healthily possible on the big day, so I am currently taking cardioboxing classes–my trainer knows to keep the defibrillator handy, but so far I’m doing better than I expected to. Exercise plus diet changes can make a big impact, not just on size but on health–and I know from past experience that when you’re exercising regularly, your body processes everything more efficiently even on those days when you’re not exercising. (okay, need to get off the soapbox now…)

    I have so far managed to avoid the whole Glee phenomena, although I have a number of friends who dearly love it. Would love to see your opinion of it on here, though; I like reading your reviews of shows, even when they’re not something I watch myself.

  2. Oh, the clothes shopping dilemma! When reality bumps up against the picture in our heads!

    As you said, you know how to dress – and I think being an actor & theater professional probably helps you, because you have the body awareness & have spent time analyzing what the body does in space.

    So trust your judgement. My input is to favor clothing in which you can move well; I always think that a large person who moves confidently and gracefully and who politely owns their space always makes a better impression than someone who looks restricted or apologetic or awkward.

    If you want real guidance have someone take photos. Ideally, candid ones so you can see what you look like when you’re not thinking about how you’re carrying yourself. Now, I say from personal experience, this is a harsh measure. Such photos are responsible for my current year’s exercise program. My posture needs work, and so I’m working on core & upper body strength.

    I’ve lost significant weight, about 75 lbs., 15 years ago. Some of that has crept back & I’d like to get rid of it, nominally for health reasons, but really because I’ve had to watch my weight all my life & I know all too well how 10 lbs becomes 20 becomes 30. I never want to feel 50 extra lbs, much less 75 on my short frame again – and I know it could happen. Easily.

    I’ll echo Jade & say my best weight loss friend is exercise. Exercise makes me feel better and that boost makes it possible for me to hang in there with any kind of healthier eating plan. Anything which is strenuous enough to make me feel better afterwards – at our age we’ve got plenty of exercise history and know what we hate and what we’re willing to give a shot.

    So that’s all to say, I wish you well! Buy the clothes that make you feel best and if you’re weight watching don’t get discouraged. Especially give yourself props for small changes that you can stick with. Those are the ones you can build on.

  3. Ugh. Seems like I finally get used to clothing a particular body I inhabit, and it changes on me. Tired of it! Makes me feel a bit better to read that the FBQs of the world – who, in my experience always look fabulous at any size – struggle, too.

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