FBQ Review: RPDR S4,E13-The Final Three

No other way to say it:

This was complete and utter bullshit.

Actually that is being very unfair to male bovines. Their feces has benefit and purpose. The final episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race-Season 4 did not.

The Queen cannot bear–nor has a wish–to give this a normal review. It is beneath me. It was as if Drag Race entered some dimension of Bizarro World, and everything was upside down. What used to be considered schlock and poor television, banal writing and weak re-hashes of past material, suddenly became de rigueur.

When the Queen was in the upper stages of his matriculation–especially in High School and college–I got very similar feedback for much of my writing. I was given relatively high marks for my ability to construct a literary piece. My use of language and ability to create compelling, evocative work got me through many a stretch. At the same time I was often penalized for a very specific M.O.–of which I now charge the writers and producers of this show. And, as Executive Producer, especially RuPaul himself.

My assignments would start out gangbusters: I’d give eloquent and concise introductions in essays and articles; and weave compelling characters and settings into the opening plots of stories. I’d do my best to pull my readers in with the promise of a well-woven composition or tale. And then, halfway through the story I’d lose interest, speed rapidly through a conclusion to what could only be called a collegiate version of “The End.” This is exactly what the Supermodel of the World left us with after such a promising start.

So the only way the Queen sees fit to review this episode is as a high school writing assignment.

The Queen is getting swamped at work. Obviously these people don’t watch Drag Race.

To be continued…just like the damn episode


34 thoughts on “FBQ Review: RPDR S4,E13-The Final Three

  1. THIS. And then some–my jaw just about dropped when RuPaul announced that the winner would be announced next week, but then my mouth started moving and nothing that came out of it would have been “fit for mixed company” (as my beloved grandmother would put it).

    W T everlovin’ F?! What is to be achieved with this (other than alienating the fan base)?! This could have been announced two weeks ago when the final three were chosen, which would have given people two weeks to vote and still could have wound it all up properly. Did people really need to see the so-called “finale” in order to vote? Probably not.

    This has probably been the worst season in terms of production, and I really don’t understand why. Are they running out of ideas or something or is this some misguided attempt to cater to the “newnownext” crowd?

    • agree with you whole heartedly. I’ve grown to expect much more from Ru and unfortunately she disappointed me way too much this season. I felt at the end of this weeks show that we were being treated with disrespect as viewers and not sure if I will continue to view the show if this format continues next season.

  2. I agree. Is it that the ratings drop off for the reunion? I know last year once we got to the final three, I gave up – so it’s possible.

    So, let’s have a different conversation: what up with the scripted “entrances” to the workroom? I admit, a bunch of polished drag queens tossing off a nerdy Star Trek reference tickled me no end, but isn’t it odd? (I do admit to loving the Mardi-Gras “Jesus is a Biscuit” parade, even if contrived.)

    • Don’t you guys get it? RuPaul is the star and that’s the way she means for it to stay. I am a complete newbie to drag and could name only one drag queen by name before I started to watch so I could follow along with the rest of the class but I caught on fast. Do you really think she is going to promote someone who is going to outshine and ultimately replace her? Sharon and Chad are talented and will go much farther (as will William) but I will not be surprised if Phi Phi wins.

  3. Dear god, this felt so cheap. Although I did read over on TLo that part of the reason Ru did this was to push back against Absolut and that little marketing shit’s dislike (to put it mildly) of Sharon. If true, that makes me feel somewhat better about voting and having the reveal next week. If not, it’s manipulation at it’s finest.

    If Phi Phi is the “next generation” of drag, I am the Queen of England. Santino proved yet again that the only taste he has is in his mouth. If he thought “dude in a Jane Fonda workout leotard” is cutting edge, shame on him. HARUMP.

    Let’s talk about Raja’s busted wig instead. I always expect Tyra Sanchez to look like a soup sandwich, so no loss there.

  4. I agree Hellkell, Raja was a disaster. THAT was a winner? She has had a year to evolve to…that? At least Tyra got cosmetic dentistry done. But I really hated hearing it was about AGE…because seriously, revisting Tyra in RPDR (Love Netflix Streaming, y’all!) you really DO see her above the fray and consistently better than everyone. I don’t remember it being an AGE thing with her and she was younger than PhiPhi. Now the fact that PhiPhi is shorter and bitchier makes you think she is throwing a tantrum like an immature child, yeah, but Tyra never did that (to her credit she was not an ‘instigator’ to my mind like phi is).

  5. I hate to be all tinfoil-hatty, but is it possible — *possible* — that the ending with the “winner will be revealed at the reunion” was re-shot (kind of like Tyra did with ANTM All Stars) because of the horrible reception Phi Phi has had on the show by fans and? (This, of course, assumes Phi Phi was the original winner). It was more obvious when Tyra re-shot the ANTM ending (all of a sudden they were back in LA; the “original” winner Angelea was not even there & all that was said was that she was DQ’d). Maybe half-way through the season, with all the Phi Phi hate (deserved, IMO) Ru realized there was no redeeming her even with that half-hearted attempt in the final episode (not to mention that stupid leopard leotard & bad Alexis Carrington hair in her final runway) and decided “scr@w it — I’m re-shooting the end & announcing the winner at the reunion” to prevent the total internet meltdown (not to mention loss of credibility for Ru) that would surely result in a Phi Phi win? This, of course, means Phi Phi will *not* win (which is good enough for me & totally will make up for the shenanigans of this episode — if washed up showgirl still wins after all this, I’ll be apoplectic).
    This would explain the “rumors” that Phi Phi won that were out there at the beginning of the season.
    Of course, I may just be trying too hard to rationalize that Phi Phi does not win because she did get “the winner’s edit” this episode, even though she looked totally subpar to me, especially up against a pro like Chad (who killed that runway) and against a talent like Sharon (who, I can admit, messed up going with the tentacles, IMO).
    Also, can some explain to me how Versace is “old-fashioned?” Thanks in advance.

    • I confess that this scenario also crossed my mind–but I don’t know whether it is plausible or not. Do we know what the production schedule was vs. the broadcast schedule? In any case, you are right, if Phi Phi wins after all of this, there will be an internet shit-storm.

      • An Internet “Shit storm” and a lot of controversy may not be a detrimental thing for the producers or the network. It might generate buzz and publicity for a show that has a very small budget and a niche market. Look at Project Runway, Santino’s alma mater. That show generated fans that are unbelievably rabid about their opinions and as the show seemed to lurched from one Internet fubar after enough its numbers and popularity seemed to grow and grow.

        Yes, I think Sharon is the best performer. Certainly innovative, thought provoking with a very modern twist on gender bending. Chad is the most elegant or beautiful and presents drag in a classic form such as RuPaul so successfully. The is often a reason why classics sell, they work. Phi Phi…well. Redemptive story arc and revisionist plot lines aside. ” Girl, the 80’s called and they want you for a remake of Sweatin’ to the Oldies.”

    • Well, if this (a re-shoot to change the winner) did/does happen, the one thing I think we can rely on is that we are all gonna find out about it. Too good a story and too many strong feelings in the contestants. (Not to mention about a jillion mandatory promotional events at which the Absolut will flow.) I don’t care what they (and the crew) has to sign or how much they’re paid, no way to keep something like that secret.

      Which makes kinda hope that they’d REALLY shock everyone next week and just be blunt: announce that yes, Ru was changing his mind about the winner & thus the reason for the extended finale. [Yeah, and pigs will fly, I think.]

  6. I couldn’t believe when Ru said the winner would be announced next week. I’m curious if our votes actually count towards who will eventually be crowned the winner or if it is all for show. I’m rooting for Sharon Needles just because she is a beacon of hope for all of us “weirdos” out there. Although I loved Sharon’s tentacle fingers, I wished her outfit was better. I didn’t think that the outfit she chose gave her body a flattering profile. With those tentacle fingers I would’ve gone with a more Lydia Deetz styled outfit.

  7. If there is some manipulation going on from Ru’s part, I think it would have something to do with the Absolut guy not liking Sharon. With the way the shows are edited, Ru has a clear dislike for Phi Phi. It seems that she can hardly hold a conversation with her in the workroom, and the only positive things I’ve heard being said about her (from Ru) is that she’s hungry and “oh she looks cute today” lol.

    The Absolut guy was IN LOVE with Phi Phi when he came, and he seemed to be somewhat disturbed by Latrice and Sharon. Having fans vote for the winner is a great way to absolve all responsibilty.

  8. Something that occurs to me is that the ultimate goal, sadly, of becoming a Ru Paul Drag Race winner is to end up getting those lucrative corporate spokesperson (i.e., Absolut) gigs, which is really a very different outcome than starting one’s own clothing line or securing a recording contract, as in other reality shows we know of. Which makes it really ironic that in this, initially at least, most subversive of art forms, the ultimate goal is to put out a sort of non-controversial likeability that can move product to the American public, albeit a segment of the American public self-selected to be sold goods by a drag queen. And the thing is, if Phi-Phi started out as the heir apparent because of her pretty standard, youthful, non -“conceptual” type of drag, something went terribly awry along the way. And if she DID win after Ru faux-solicited the assistance of the fans, and after the fans pretty overwhelmingly expressed their collective nausea at the very idea of it – well, it just wouldn’t make any sense. She’d be such damaged goods, how could Absolut or anyone think they could use her as pitch queen when she was so widely hated? (And again, when Gretchen and Anya were primed to win, there wasn’t a corporate sponsor in the wings planning to make use of them….). And IF …. IF what this is all about, to any degree, is Absolut and Ru realizing that her winning was a non-starter, that she was too damaged goods at this point to be of any use – well, that would mean that Phi-Phi through her lowly antics had truly snatched defeat from the jaws of victory (oh, God, I so hope so!).

    And I thought Ru’s comment about Sharon was interesting, “Well, Lady Gaga’s done it.” I mean, really, after Lady Gaga’s meat dress, why would there really be any concern that Sharon was too “out there” for the American public? Ru knows full well it’s the Lady Gaga era, not the Britney Spears era, and that should make a difference. And in so many ways, Gaga and Sharon are working the same territory, a sort of cross between Madonna glam and Marilyn Manson, the beautiful juxtaposed with the grotesque. They’re inspired by many of the same people. And offstage, Sharon is much more relatable, genuine, and charming, without the many cringe-worthy statements that Gaga can make. She’s so much more likeable than Gaga.

    ON THE OTHER HAND, Santino was right to say that Sharon takes things much further than Gaga, meat dress notwithstanding. For example, I saw a video recently of Sharon doing Madonna’s “Take A Bow.” And I’m pretty sure, although the video wasn’t real clear, that she was sporting an armband with a swastika on it. Which she has been known to do, use things like swastikas and klan hoods, in a very deliberate way, to make a very deliberate point, or as she refers to it, in an artistically transgressive way. And, well, the way I see it in this particular video, she is channeling her Madonna impression as something of cross between some of Madonna’s heroines: sort of Eva Peron crossed with Wallis Simpson, as might be filmed by Leni Riefenstahl. Which is where the Nazi armband pretty much makes sense…

    Now, Madonna has a way of swerving from these realities, and saying things like, “I strongly relate to Eva and Wallis because they were strong women who were deeply misunderstood. As I am. And it all has to do with sexism.” Well, whatever. And maybe someone as willful as Madonna is prone to believe in the triumph of the will as well. Okay. But you do know, dear, these were Nazi sympathizers? And I don’t mean to suggest in ANY way, or that Sharon is suggesting in ANY way, that Madonna is at all sympathetic to the ideals of fascism, let alone to the white supremacy aspect of it. But I do mean to suggest that she is drawn to some of the same ground that made up the mythology of fascism – without the politics, without the racial pseudoscience – i.e., the whole Nietzschean concept of a Superman, or of the perfectibility of the human race, of the primacy of will. And the high glamour of ALL of that. And in a greater sense, all of our modern cult of celebrity is really working that same ground, and that is eminently worth exploring. So I THINK for Sharon to wear that armband while vamping as Madonna as Eva as Wallis as Leni is bringing all that home in what I think is a pretty brilliant way. At least if Sharon is doing what I think she’s doing, which is not something I’ve seen Gaga willing to touch.

    And just maybe THAT is what is really problematic about what Sharon does, not the whole silly Goth thing that gets SO overplayed, but the penchant for getting just a little political in a very, very discomfiting way.

    And IF that’s too much for them, they should just go with brilliant Chad, who really deserves it. Sharon will have no trouble getting an audience now.

    • Honestly (and I’ll have to ask Bianca what he thinks about this), I think the biggest long term benefit for a winner of RPDR would be the ability to demand a higher fee for the venues that they already frequent…and possibly secure larger and more lucrative contracts at bigger gigs.

      One of the things that leave me in awe of RuPaul, is becoming the spokesperson for mainstream companies like M.A.C., and securing drag roles in mainstream media. If a queen could somehow manage that, then they will have set a career path which will mirror their mentor. However, I don’t think there is another RuPaul in this mix. Sharon is already capitalizing on her well-deserved fame by selling products (which is brilliant); and I’m sure Willam’s booking fee has gone up by many percentage points.

      As far as Sharon’s personae is concerned: he’s a true artist. And true artists never play it safe. And unfortunately ad agencies and producers are usually about playing it safe. I have to look at the “Take A Bow” performance again–I didn’t notice the armband. If I were her coach, I would urge her to pick outfits and musical pieces for the correct venues. It’s the artist’s job to make provocative statements. But if your audience is not as enlightened as you are, then what they receive may be entirely different than what you were meaning to convey. Sometimes I think that was/is Madonna’s primary media flaw.

      • Remember the Whoopi Goldberg/ Ted Danson debacle at the Friar’s Club? It nearly ruined Whoopi’s career, not to mention her street cred. Having taken my fair share of electives on race, history and art, if I saw a drag performer wearing a klan hood or a swastika I would think wrong crowd because of what the symbols represent. I have a diverse group of friends & we all find Shirley Q. Liquor offensive because she’s taking the matriarchal symbol of the black family and turning her into an uneducated clown with no redemptive qualities.

        This reminds me of Survivor this season when Jeff Probst asked 21 y.o.
        Colton if he knew any African-Americans. I’m paraphrasing, and he responded with “yes, my housekeeper”. ::wit’s end

  9. Phi-Phi is to RPDR as Rose was to “The Real L-Word” — a producer of reality series dream. Both are acerbic combatants by nature and I’m sure neither needed much prodding to let their bitter flags fly.

    I actually “get” (don’t like it though) the protracted drama. What I didn’t get was Tyra Sanchez’ get-up..or Raj’s for that matter. They looked like last minute replacement guests that signed the contract two seconds before realizing their riders hadn’t been included.

  10. I wonder if this is partially because of Absolut and partially in relation to the winner being revealed last year before the season started. Since the winner is likely picked before it even starts filming (probably with a second choice if something goes wrong), I can see RuPaul and Absolut both disagreeing on who should win and trying to not have it be spoiled again.

    I can see Chad being the safety in both a Sharon and Phi Phi win. I can definitely see RuPaul wanting Sharon… she’s really the first contestant who really has “IT” the way RuPaul does. RuPaul comes from a similar punk-drag background and Sharon herself has said that RuPaul completely understands her drag. While Sharon is an artist who won’t sell herself out (if she was she would not have worn that outfit at the end–one of her weakest looks imho), she has shown that she can choose different performances to different audiences. Also a win for her would really change her life, mostly for the better I’d think. Major artists have usually had a patron or sponsor to help them thrive, and I believe Sharon is smart enough to deal with Absolut for a year so that she can do drag full time. Perhaps she could do that now, but like Christian Siriano for Project Runway, she’s the first serious contender who could transcend her time on a reality TV show.

    I mean, have you seen her wigs and outfits since Drag Race started? They definitely were made for her after the show with money. Either she’s racking up some debt with the hope of paying it back or her patrons already exist and are helping her. I love Chad, but she’s not the next drag superstar. I won’t mind if she’s the compromise vote, but I really do hope Sharon wins.

    I didn’t mind this twist, only because I feel like Sharon could never have been deemed the winner from the onset. They need to have the majority of Drag Race viewers fall in love with her and prove that she’s a winner.

  11. I did not find the “have the viewers vote for the winner” to be so offensive or utter bullshit. I thought it was a clever but evil twist that was adapting to new media trends. RuPaul has done this three times in the past now, and each time with a lot of controversy concerning her pick. I do think RuPaul liked Sharon better than Phi Phi, which is why she kept bringing up the topic of Phi Phi’s “ambition” to the judges. It is also plausible that the main-stage was re-shot due to the vast majority of the audience hating Phi Phi, but in my opinion, it seemed to have been done to get more viewers for the reunion. After all, we’ve been hearing RuPaul’s “we’re breaking all the rules” line since before the season aired. In RuPaul’s defense, there wouldn’t have been nearly as much shock if it was announced last week, or even at the beginning of the episode. Yes, it would (and did) make a lot of viewers feel ripped off, but this episode did highlight the top three by themselves, so there still was a point to it. Even at the end when all three queens lip-synced, it was for us to decide who was the better performer. We didn’t even have to know that we’d be judging them before that point, because we already were.

    As far as the entertainment brought through this episode, I wasn’t impressed. It’s the exact same thing that has been done every single other time before for the final three: a music video in which the queens have two scenes, one with Ru and one without. My main problem with this, especially compared to the top four episode, is that it doesn’t seem complex enough for the final challenge. The top four challenge consist of doing three different custom looks around a central theme, as well as a musical number. That’s a lot to do. And for the final three, they should be put to the ultimate test. Performing with RuPaul is one thing, but they’ve already performed in front of her, so doing it with her isn’t that different. I just feel there should be more.

  12. OK, somebody, anybody, please explain to me why this is such an outrage? I just read TLo’s entry and, my God, I’m afraid they’re going to have aneurysms. The Bitter Kittens are enraged. It seems everyone on TWoP is mad as hell (not that that’s anything new.) And Scotty, you’re really pissed off too. I think if I ask over at TLo, I’ll have my head bitten off by them and their readers. I’m hoping for a more reasoned explanation from you, Scotty, and/or my fellow Miss Things.

    I love this show. Since I started watching it, at the beginning of the 2nd season, I haven’t missed an episode. I’ve written passionately about how awful Phi-phi is, and have expressed how much I love Sharon, Chad, and Latrice (and Dida). I’m really invested in RPDR.

    But, apparently, I’ve missed something. Or I am missing something, like, I don’t know, a gene that makes me lose it because RuPaul wants to mess with the heads of people who watch her reality show. Except, I’m not immune to some reality show-based outrage. I was pissed off when Hosea won season 5 of Top Chef, and when Gretchen and Anya won Project Runway. I’m still mad about those wins. And I’ve bitterly complained about more than my share of ANTM contestants. But this? I don’t understand. When Ru said the winner wouldn’t be announced until next week, I had a moment of WTF, then I shrugged my shoulders and laughed like hell.

    Help me out here.

    • I had a moment of “DAMN YOU TO HELL RUPAUL!!” but then quickly calmed down when I realized that this stunt would make it near impossible for Phi-Phi to get the win. I think it’s the same kind of visceral reaction you get when anyone tells you’ve they got a big surprise for you, gets you all primed,,, and then tells you you’ll have to wait for it.

      In a lot of ways, though, it kind of makes sense to do it this way (though next time it’d be great to know it upfront). Why not get the audience involved and hold off on the decision until they can get a sense of how each contestant really connects with a wide audience? Especially when it’s not clothes design or cooking being judged, but charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent. A few judges with the contestants in an empty studio, on some level they’re really only guessing how the queens’ are going to come through on television to a mass audience. Why not wait and find out?

      (And isn’t it nice to have a place where you’re not worried about having your head bitten off?)

      • I agree. It does make sense to do it this way. I don’t know what the timing is like for RPDR, i.e., on Top Chef and PR, there’s a break for the contestants before they do the finale. I wonder if Ru does the same thing, or if the queens go from the regular show straight to the final 3 or 4. If there’s a break, that gives Ru some time to see how the queens are received, which would make plausible the theory that this was a last minute decision on her part. But if they go directly into the finale, then she must have decided ahead of time to announce the winner during the reunion.

        I kind of love that she’s done this twice in one season. It drags out the suspense and makes it more fun.

        RE: Your final question. I love Tom and Lorenzo. I think they’re funny and smart, and it’s been really cool watching their blog grow into what it is now. But the atmosphere seems to be changing over there. It’s actually kind of funny, because on the one hand, I feel like I’m really part of a community there, and that took a few years to happen. There are some really awesome people over there; there are even a few I think I’d want to be friends with in real life. On the other hand, I’m starting to lose patience with the snippiness that’s been rearing its ugly head of late. It’s usually uncalled for and it makes me really uncomfortable.

        All that to say, yes, it’s nice to have a place where I don’t have to worry about having my head bitten off. May it always be so.

      • I don’t really care because I enjoy RPDR for its parody of shows like PR and ANTM. It’s hard to tell what’s parody and what’s serious (for the most part), so I just assume it’s all parody and it’s not enraging like it is when Tyra chooses Saleisha/Tootie as the winner of ANTM.

        We might need to have a round of “lighten up, it’s just fashion!” for folks who are more frustrated. (And yes, I too enjoy this blog because of its polite discourse among commenters, as well as from the proprietor. And no one seems to irrationally hate the Midwest!)

        I really dislike Phi Phi’s character on the show (whether or not she really is so vile in real life, I’ll never know, although she’s not really doing anything to counteract her image) and I agree this voting thing makes it impossible for her to win. I think a lot of Phi Phi’s post show behavior is linked to Phi Phi realizing that’s the case. The show wrapped and she thought people would love her and think she was a fun bitch (though there’s no wit or humor to her comments in the THs), or she thought she’d get a much better edit. She saw how people reacted and realized she had absolutely no chance of winning, and lashed out at the people who she thought made her look the worst: Sharon and Willam. I’m surprised she hasn’t lashed out at the editors, too.

        (However, as heinous as Phi Phi is, the really offensive moment of the season was when Jiggly called Sharon and Alaska’s relationship “disgusting.” That was one of the most vile moments in television history for me.)

    • For me it wasn’t the fact that it was done, but *how* it was done. To wait until the literal last 20 seconds then throw that out there was just really shady. People don’t like to be “played”, and that’s how it felt.

      • See, that’s why I asked. I really don’t know why that’s shady. Ru loves to mess with people. Although I had that WTF moment, and was disappointed I’d have to wait another week to find out who won, after I thought about it I wasn’t entirely surprised she did that.

      • Mary, I totally agree. All this building up to a pinnacle that doesn’t exist. First with Willam and then with the season’s winner. When the big reveal never happens everything that follows is anticlimactic.

  13. While I understand the reason for many people’s outrage, I am more inclind to think: “Live and let live.” Yes, Phi Phi is probably THE MOST HATED Queen in “Drag Race” history. Yes, Sharon and Chad are FIERCE. And, yes, Ru likes to “mess with people,” and that is how she makes her “paper. ” Live and let live,” Dolls. Let these Queens make their paper. Don’t go getting your feathers all rowled up about this crap. It’s Reality-TV, Baby [in case you hadn’t heard, this is synonymous with the word “manipulation” ;=) ] ! (ha!) TV, Entertainers, the Media, Life??? It’s all about manipulation. Those who are good at it make A LOT OF money. Period. Madonna, Lady Gaga, Donald Trump, Oprah, the Office of the US President? … YOU NAME ‘EM! Yet, we all keep coming back… we keep tuning in. Why? Because it’s ENTERTAINMENT. We love, being manipulated by the likes of RuPaul, and we KNOW IT! AT LEAST this Queen is honest about the fact that “life is meant to be made fun of.” Have you ever read any of her books? She tells us: “Do not take this stuff seriously, because it is “not who you are, anyway. You are a spiritual Being, having a human experience.” I am paraphrasing, here, that is not a “direct quote,” but that is basically what she says. Ru TELLS US EXACTLY who she is — all the time! She is an ENTERTAINER. Now… everybody…. “SAY LOVE.” Now, go make your paper! (ha!)

  14. I was so fixed on this page reading all the comments I didn’t blink and almost went blind reading white text on a black page. (I can see Jesus in the background now) Let’s all take a breath, put on our big boy pants and admit we’re going to keep watching until RuPaul dies and her hologram hosts the show. I (of course) believe Sharon should win, in fact she’s the most innovative queen of all seasons. But, there is so much to be said to being 2nd place in these contests. If Sharon can keep the money, take Alaska on a cruise, and stay true to her artistic integrity I would love to see her crowned. Now, if she won, handed the crown to that bust-down show girl and went forth creating and sharing everything her twisted little mind can conceptualize, that would be completely hard core.

      • (lol) Good one, “hellkell.” @ quitabnorfsyf : Yes, you’re right, I’m gonna keep watching RuPaul until that bitch retires and is replaced by her own “love-child.” Oh wait: Someone said that was Raja! (lol)

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