In the Queen’s opinion, this season of Untucked was different than the past two, in that the focus was at least equally split between stereotypically bitchy queen behavior and a thoughtful exploration of Drag. Somewhere in between Jiggly and Phi Phi’s borderline schizophrenic and juvenile tirades; we also got some heartfelt discussions on bullying and acceptance of differences.
This was not an episode involving the latter.
The Queen has been trying his best to do a recap of Untucked which would include a linear rundown of the contestant’s adventure’s in the Lounge. And truthfully there is often a cohesive story line which makes that process easier. However as the dolls dwindle, the show seems less interested in telling a story and more in creating drama. And what’s the point in trying to recap the same old shit?
If you need an actual recap, it goes something like this:
Phi Phi continued her narcissistic bullying. Sharon unwittingly got caught up in it for a second. Dita Von Teese’s schedule couldn’t sync up with the show taping, so they just filmed her alone in the Gold Lounge, and edited it to appear as if the queen’s fighting ruined the surprise. Latrice cried because the producers were making her leave, and setting up the drama for Phi Phi’s win.
There Miss Things.
Now we can talk about why we’re even bothering to think of this show as anything but scripted television.
Miss Things, you don’t for one minute think that if RuPaul and Dita’s agents at Global Talent had contracted with World of Wonder to have a conversation with the queens–she would have had a conversation with the queens.
Latrice’s emotional plea to the lady boys was a clear indicator that she knew she was going home. None of the other queens disputed her at all. Not once did anyone say: “What makes you think that it’s YOU that’s going home? Poor bitch was taking a dive like Rocky, and she didn’t even have Burgess Meredith in her corner to give her a pep talk.
Phi Phi was put in the center because she is a short bitch. If she wasn’t in the center, then her tired ass would not be seen. End of discussion.
“It’s like a mixture between Prison and Summer Camp.”
Maybe this Fierce Black Queen is truly in the minority (no pun intended, bitches), but I really think that the best of Untucked had nothing whatsoever to do with bitch fights. We know that queens do this. What most of us (and sometimes, even the queens themselves) don’t know is who they are outside of the makeup and bravado. We don’t know that their needs and desires are very much the same as the rest of humanity: to be loved, to be supported, and to live out their dreams. I am just as much a sucker for a good bitchy line as the next gay man (“Your Mouth is louder than your Outfit”); but I’d RATHER know what’s BEHIND the bitchy line. Maybe something is wrong with me. I’d rather not have a clinically narcissistic bitch trigger me with every line until all I can think of is busting her punk-ass dead in her face and give her a bloody nose to make her shut the fuck up. I don’t want to live out of that part of me. It sickens me.
If you’re reading this producers…PLEASE take us middle of the road viewers into consideration next season and give us less Prison, and more stylishly Gay Summer Camp.
Let the dogs be the only ones acting like animals.
Have at it, you Fierce Miss Things.