RPDR S4,E6: Float Your Boat-Untucking At Sea Continued

Kee Kee With Kelly

Okay where were we? Oh yes! We were about to talk about the segment with one of the fiercest celebrity fag-hags we’ve seen for a while. The Queen is a little long in the tooth (although I did get carded the other day buying alcohol. If I could have figured out a way to break through the bullet-proof glass and kiss the clerk, I would have.) to truly get into 1 girl 5 gays, however I love the concept and think this seemingly innocuous parlor game of Twenty Questions is a fabulous way to get to know someone. Such was the case with Kelly’s visit. I learned more about these queens in that three-minute segment than through much of the Race itself. Let’s run it down:

  • Latrice really does think Phi Phi is a bitch. This isn’t the first time Ms. Royale has called her out as one. Once, it’s a joke. After that it’s the subconscious screaming out.
  • Milan had a secret crush. I was with Willam: where did THAT come from? And with the votes for her, I’m sure Phi Phi’s ego was the size of Mount Rushmore.
  • None of the queens are attracted to Chad. Poor thing had to save face and throw shade to the other dolls.

“Phi Phi is a mean, mean little person…”–Marzirocks

So then we come to the strange letter segment. “…the producers wrote it all and just attributed it to Kenya. It’s reality TV; there’s no rule saying that any of it has to be presented the way it happened.” Are mr_subjunctive and I being too cynical? It just seemed a little too convenient that this letter would pop up. Do all the departed queens leave a letter, and we just don’t get to hear them? It seems a little suspect that someone who doesn’t feel comfortable with the language would choose this medium to voice his issues. It smells of Producer Manipulation. And Phi Phi’s poorly veiled delight at the negative comments directed at her sisters was pretty crass. As Marzirocks also posted: “… she reads that cruel letter and is all up on her high horse since Kenya said nice things to ONLY her… then says how it’s a community and they shouldn’t tear each other down and should support each other? She seems to have selective memory about how awful she is.” And as Michael Parsons de Álvarez said “Watching Phi Phi bad mouth everyone with glee is making me wish RuPaul based her final judgement on who the person is in and out of drag as well as the challenges. God forbid you would want that representing your brand.”

“Jiggly…has no excuse for her ignorance.”–hellkell

As the Queen has said previously, the history lesson was a fabulous way to introduce young gay people to a part of their legacy. However, at 30, only an octogenarian would consider Jiggly a youngster. Jiggly has probably, consciously or unconsciously, used her youthful appearance to avoid dealing with the complexities of maturation. The late educator John Holt wrote an incredible essay called “On Seeing Children As Cute“, in which he talks about the concept of “cute” in our society–specifically regarding young people–and the consequences it can have on a child’s development. Hopefully she can use this experience to jump-start her maturation process.

Willam vs. Milan

In addition to bad acting, the other thing that triggers a violent reaction in the Queen is blatant ignorance. Phi Phi’s refusal, or inability to see what’s right before her, is maddening. The difference between Milan’s float and Willam’s was oceans apart. I just don’t get it: are Phi Phi and Milan just stupid? As occasionalblonde posted about Willam’s float: “…she took the opportunity to make the challenge about more than just her being in the spotlight. She also made a point of talking about why gay pride matters and how it affected him/her personally. Willam is smart as hell. S/he knows exactly what s/he’s doing at all times.

And we are left with a dramatic runway moment: Milan’s covert warning to Jiggly.”The girls are gunning for you…be careful.” And Jiggly’s Knott’s Landing-like reply: “Which one of these stupid hoes is talking $%#! behind my back? Runnin’ they mother#$%!&* mouth? And you know what? Imma send they ass home.”

Get ready for Dynasty in the ‘Hood.

Thoughts Miss Things?


6 thoughts on “RPDR S4,E6: Float Your Boat-Untucking At Sea Continued

  1. “I just don’t get it: are Phi Phi and Milan just stupid?”

    Yes. 😉

    And they appear especially clueless next to people like Willam and Sharon, both of whom are obviously intelligent, quick witted and shrewd.

    Kelly Osborne was such a cute surprise. I’ve never had an opinion about her, but now find her to be adorable.

    • Milan and Phi Phi both seem relatively articulate to me. I just think they may be at a stage in their emotional development in which ego trumps common sense. Don’t get me wrong: I still loathe Phi Phi’s personality and think many of his comments literally transform his beautiful physical countenance into something absolutely ugly. But I also pray that time gets him out of his own head; the blinders come off and he can seek counseling to help with that horrific chip on his shoulders.

      • Have I mentioned my theory about Phi-Phi? He gets away with so much shit as a guy because he’s so good looking. I think he believes being a beautiful queen gives her the same pass.Time will get him out of his own head, but if his/her nastiness is based on looks, it’s going to be hard process. Losing your looks is not for the weak. If your self-worth is based entirely on your looks, and that’s what you’ve been riding on your whole life, losing them can be really tough.

        I don’t know what’s up with Milan. I never did figure her out, probably because she can’t either.

  2. Forget a Dynasty moment, let’s go full-on Lace, “Which one of you bitches is my mother?” That would be hilarious!

    I said it briefly over on TLo, but Phi Phi really needs help too. I totally buy her story of an abusive home (as in not played up for the show), because the way she’s nice one minute and a horrid bitch the next suggests a learned pattern. That behavior doesn’t usually come from nowhere. Not to armchair diagnose, but damn, girl. Work on your shit. Then again, I think everybody should go to therapy at least once.

    Milan just won’t listen. My husband thinks I’m nuts as I yell at the TV all “listen to what Ru is telling you, dammit.” Hopefully getting the boot will teach her.

    Kelly Osbourne was excellent, and where do I get that tiara? I’m sure it’s not cheap, I looked into the WERK! necklace Michelle wore, and that was around 80 bucks.

  3. I agree with hellkell, PhiPhi needs to work on her shit. That abuse commentary from her put the final piece in the puzzle. Real work has to happen there or she is destined to be a shady bitch for life. On one hand embracing the drag on the other hating that and other parts of herself and taking it out on everyone around her.

    I think something similar about Milan. Not abuse but the self loathing is there. Nicely masked as he carefully repeats to all that he is “more” than “just” a drag queen. Not ready to pick a character probably because not really loving himself.
    It’s armchair, I know, but they seem to be hiding from the truth a bit. Being an amazing looking or performing queen is astounding… But when all the compliments come for the way you put it on you can wonder if anyone likes you when your diamond ain’t buffed up.

    I see it a lot in the queens who get angry and bitchy rather than understanding what real reading Is. In Milan’s case there was a lot of “I am a performer and artist not just a queen” talk but nothing to angry at others. Sounds like there is still discomfort there with himself

    You can’t hide in drag forever, is what I’m saying.

    Love this season the best, actually.

  4. I just found your blog, and I am so glad I did! I can’t get enough of Drag Race (or drag queens for that matter), and I love reading other people’s perspectives on it.

    I totally agree with you about Phi Phi. She either can’t or won’t see that she is competing against some very talented queens, and that her attitude is just tripping her up. I don’t mind bitchy sometimes, but Phi Phi just comes across as jealous, bitter, and insecure.

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