RPDR S4,E4: Queens Behind Bars-The Rest of the Inmates

Snatch Game tonight!!! But before that, let’s snatch the rest of the Queens from last week’s episode.

Phi Phi O’Hara-See, here’s my issue with this bitch: if you’re going to pout about not being in the top, or kvetch about who is–then you better bring more than generic pretty. Standard dress and same damn paint. Talk about a one-look queen. Her performance in the sitcom was fine–nothing memorable, but–she has a good sense of how to read a line…which is more than I can say for the schooled actor in the competition.

Dida Ritz–It’s a shame when you’re gay and you need Gays.
As Max Mutchnick said, she was phenomenal in the sitcom challenge. Best thing up there in terms of line delivery. Now if she could only look like a woman doing it. It would be a shame for this doll to get put out of the competition because of her lack of experience, but she has GOT to step it up in terms of hair and makeup. And ashy knees are unforgivable. Girl better forget that “sickening leg” stuff and invest in a few pairs of pantyhose.

Willam–It’s no secret that I am fond of this Beeotch. Between the almost doe-like beauty he can pull off; his palpable ambition; his rapier wit (his reference to Liz’s White Diamonds during Untucked floored me}, and mastery of the camera and sound-bite–he is a force of nature. And in the challenge, he demonstrated why he is a successful working actor. But baby, that attitude on the set was just plain wrong. And I KNOW you know better. As turned off by Mutchnick as the Queen was, he is still the director and deserves your respect–ESPECIALLY if you’re looking to work with him in the future. If I were him, my response to your retort about your resume would have led me to say: “I don’t need to know where your resume is, as I won’t be needing it for casting any of my future projects.” It was beneath you doll. You’re better and smarter than that.

Kenya Michaels–Feh. Her runway look is boring and predictable. And if I hear her say in her runway voice-over one more time: “I feel amaaaaazing”, I will personally send her a copy of a Spanish to English dictionary so that she can find some other adjectives. As far as her performance in the challenge–I’ve already talked about her. Can’t even dredge up enough interest to say any more. If you really care, read my thoughts here.

Chad Michaels–This Diva is just fabulous. The Queen officially dubs her an honorary FBQ. In terms of consistently creating an overall look, no one other than Sharon even comes close. She was flawless on the runway–a perfect homage to Florence Welch. And her classic sitcom straight-woman drag was perfect (Dida honey, please get out your notepad and sit at Chad’s feet). I can’t WAIT to see her Cher tonight.

Jiggly Caliente–Quite a pretty young thing. Bianca liked the look, and agreed that it was just the kind of ensemble a teen starlet would wear on the RC. He also wishes she would learn from Latrice how to give her body a more feminine appearance. The Queen feels as if she is one of the lady boys who confuses Gender Illusion with “realness.” What a performer she would be if she concentrated more on creating a fully realized repertoire, and less on trying to actually BE a girl.

Milan–The Queen is through with this bitch. She should change her Drag Name to something less exotic and enchanting than the Italian city. What about Mediocre? Much more accurate.
As I said in a previous post, I try very hard to be objective and accepting of most things. Bad acting isn’t one of them. Especially when you boast about your prowess. Maybe the child really does get a lot of work in the industry, but I would be shocked to find that it’s anything but extra and chorus jobs. Her acting choices are amateurish and unsophisticated at best, embarrassing and demeaning to the craft of Acting at worst. There is a story about the great Theatre Artist Stella Adler, and her interaction with one of her studio’s first-year students. After watching this young person do a monologue, she asked him “When you write home to your parents…what do you tell them that you’re doing here?”
“Acting” the student said brightly.
“You’re lying to them.”, was Adler’s curt reply.

Milan swiffering the runway

Even her LSFYL was only interesting when compared to Madame LaQueer’s “Pointer Sister” schtick. Milan is another girl who needs to be reminded that the challenge is called LIP SYNC For Your Life–not Put On Lipstick and Dance For Your Life. That worked once. It WON’T work again.The real RuPaul is back now. And she won’t stand for that any more.

Sharon Needles–Not her most interesting look ever, but still a very specific point of view.
I remain a big fan of hers, and I want to believe that her explanation/apology was heartfelt and sincere. And of course the eventual performance in the sitcom was wonderful. But listen Sharon: you’re going to get a LOT of job offers from this gig. You will probably have the chance to work with many directors and production teams–some great…some not so great. And the industry is small. Directors, Casting Directors and even crew members talk to each other about actors they work with. Don’t get a reputation for being difficult this early in the game. No matter how talented you are, you will lose out on an awful lot of gigs that way. You are FAR too adroit for that. So with much love and respect, the Queen says: “Get a grip, bitch.”

Thoughts? Opinions? Who do you think the queens are going to embody in Snatch Game tonight?

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One thought on “RPDR S4,E4: Queens Behind Bars-The Rest of the Inmates

  1. dude humbly disagree. i, as a man, corrected another man on the pronunciation of my name. Just one word in a monotone. “WILLAM” was all i said. no dis to him. and after the comment i made to Ru, he laughed. He knows me. Also, the line about the headshot being in the other room came after all that originally.

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