FBQ Musings: If the Republican Presidential Candidates Were Gay: Rowdy Ricky S.

Well it’s official: this election season is more interesting than any Reality TV programming out there.

With the former senator from Pennsylvania’s upset at yesterday’s primaries and caucuses, Mr. Santorum has proven that his almost perpendicular lean to the Right is shared by many other Americans. While that truly gives the Queen the heebie jeebies, it also makes me wonder what his take on the world might look like if the Gay Fairy went down on him? What kind of queer would he be?

Rick Santorum

Another easy one: Militant Gay. With his strong conservative views and hard line ideals, it only make sense that were he transformed into a peter puffer he would be as equally adamant on All Things Gay. An avid believer in the concept that everyone is “Gay until proven Straight”, Rowdy Ricky S would push the boundaries on everything from choice of clothing to hot, juicy Public Displays of Affection with his long-time partner. With his signature slogan “Santorum for Sodomy”, the gay version of the conservative candidate would be the one shouting for equal rights at right wing rallies, prompting the authorities to drag him kicking and screaming from the event.

Let me make sure that I don’t mumble when I make this next point. I don’t want to leave any doubt as to what I am saying. The Queen is very respectful of Mr. Santorum’s focus on the family. Maybe as a gay American, he would recognize that families come in all shapes, sizes and configurations. As long as their is love and support–they may LOOK different, but they are virtually the same.


One thought on “FBQ Musings: If the Republican Presidential Candidates Were Gay: Rowdy Ricky S.

  1. I’d suggest giving him back to Pennsylvania but I have it on good authority that they don’t want him. Unfortunately, I’m afraid he may be a charter member of the Flat Earth Society. No argument, no matter how reasonable is going to sway his opinions. I think he would get creamed in the general election but man are the Republicans eating their own young in the primaries.

    For good news, Yay for the California Supreme Court on overruling Amendment 8. Another Shout out to Washington State. And a sigh for damage control for the Kormen for restoring Planned Parenthood’s breast cancer screening grants. Civil rights are important for everyone, no matter who you are.

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