A Fierce Black Queen’s Guide to Football-Part III

PART 3: Scoring

(In more ways than one)

The Queen won’t spend a lot of time on scoring (at least not the kind done ON the football field). As I’ve said, it can get intricate. For now let’s focus on the two basic scores. Once you’ve awed your partner with your knowledge, I’m sure they will be more than happy to explain the additional scoring that we don’t get to here. Basically its:
Using my example of the department store: if I were to make it to the Cashiers (end zone) with my bag, then I would get 6 points. Then, the most common thing would be for my team of fierce divas to kick a:
Field Goal
A field goal is a way to gain one extra point before turning the ball over to the other team. Our kicker would stand at the two-yard line of the opponent’s end zone, and try to kick the ball through the opening in the goal posts (that square “Y”-looking thing).

So that’s why oftentimes you see team scores that are divisible by seven. Teams try to take advantage of each drive down the field resulting in a touchdown and a field goal.

Hopefully you now have a little bit of a better understanding of the game on the field. Now let’s talk about using this knowledge off the field.

As the Queen has said in previous posts, he believes that nothing gets to a man faster than food and showing an interest in his favorite things. Whether it’s his collection of bar napkins, or his favorite sports team: if you can muster enthusiasm for it, you will have touched him deeply. You wanna capture a dude’s heart (which includes turning him on immensely)? Try a couple of these ideas:

  • Learn to spot his favorite team. Every team has it’s own distinct colors, emblems and nickname. Saying “Who are the ‘Skins (Redskins) playing today?” while scooping up a handful of popcorn and sitting next to him on the couch is tantamount to telling him he looks as hot as he did in college.
  • Ask questions using intelligent football terms that you understand. Now that you understand a bit more about downs, when you come into the TV room, ask him “Are they at the first and ten (in other words, is this the team’s first play, where they have to move the ball ten yards down the field)?
  • Pick up one football fact that you can ask your significant other about. Such as: “Hey babe? If Tim Tebow completes less than 50% of his passes, can he really lead the Broncos to the Super Bowl?” No matter what your partner thinks of the Mile High Messiah, he will see you as the Second Coming.

None of this will work if you’re only doing it for your man. If you find no fun, or passion in it–then really, what is the point? The Queen hopes that once you understand the basics of football, you’ll find it an exciting sport to watch. It really is a lot more than a bunch of big guys tackling each other (although this FBQ doesn’t mind watching a little of that every now and then). It really is about strategy and precision; art and athleticism.

And the tight uniforms don’t hurt either.


One thought on “A Fierce Black Queen’s Guide to Football-Part III

  1. I have a longstanding theory that the team with the prettier quarterback always wins. This was reiterated last night in the match-up between Mr. Tebow and Mr. Brady. Pretty even trumped Jesus, in that case. The only (inexplicable) exception to this rule is any game involving either of the Manning brothers.

    The best team EVER was the 1985 Bears. To a 15 year old living in Chicago, that was about as cool as football could be.

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