RPDR S4,E6: Float Your Boat-Untucking At Sea Continued

Kee Kee With Kelly

Okay where were we? Oh yes! We were about to talk about the segment with one of the fiercest celebrity fag-hags we’ve seen for a while. The Queen is a little long in the tooth (although I did get carded the other day buying alcohol. If I could have figured out a way to break through the bullet-proof glass and kiss the clerk, I would have.) to truly get into 1 girl 5 gays, however I love the concept and think this seemingly innocuous parlor game of Twenty Questions is a fabulous way to get to know someone. Such was the case with Kelly’s visit. I learned more about these queens in that three-minute segment than through much of the Race itself. Let’s run it down:

• Latrice really does think Phi Phi is a bitch. This isn’t the first time Ms. Royale has called her out as one. Once, it’s a joke. After that it’s the subconscious screaming out.
• Milan had a secret crush. I was with Willam: where did THAT come from? And with the votes for her, I’m sure Phi Phi’s ego was the size of Mount Rushmore.
• None of the queens are attracted to Chad. Poor thing had to save face and throw shade to the other dolls.

“Phi Phi is a mean, mean little person…”–Marzirocks

So then we come to the strange letter segment. “…the producers wrote it all and just attributed it to Kenya. It’s reality TV; there’s no rule saying that any of it has to be presented the way it happened.” Are mr_subjunctive and I being too cynical? It just seemed a little too convenient that this letter would pop up. Do all the departed queens leave a letter, and we just don’t get to hear them? It seems a little suspect that someone who doesn’t feel comfortable with the language would choose this medium to voice his issues. It smells of Producer Manipulation. And Phi Phi’s poorly veiled delight at the negative comments directed at her sisters was pretty crass. As Marzirocks also posted: “… she reads that cruel letter and is all up on her high horse since Kenya said nice things to ONLY her… then says how it’s a community and they shouldn’t tear each other down and should support each other? She seems to have selective memory about how awful she is.” And as Michael Parsons de Álvarez said “Watching Phi Phi bad mouth everyone with glee is making me wish RuPaul based her final judgement on who the person is in and out of drag as well as the challenges. God forbid you would want that representing your brand.”

“Jiggly…has no excuse for her ignorance.”–hellkell

As the Queen has said previously, the history lesson was a fabulous way to introduce young gay people to a part of their legacy. However, at 30, only an octogenarian would consider Jiggly a youngster. Jiggly has probably, consciously or unconsciously, used her youthful appearance to avoid dealing with the complexities of maturation. The late educator John Holt wrote an incredible essay called “On Seeing Children As Cute“, in which he talks about the concept of “cute” in our society–specifically regarding young people–and the consequences it can have on a child’s development. Hopefully she can use this experience to jump-start her maturation process.

Willam vs. Milan

In addition to bad acting, the other thing that triggers a violent reaction in the Queen is blatant ignorance. Phi Phi’s refusal, or inability to see what’s right before her, is maddening. The difference between Milan’s float and Willam’s was oceans apart. I just don’t get it: are Phi Phi and Milan just stupid? As occasionalblonde posted about Willam’s float: “…she took the opportunity to make the challenge about more than just her being in the spotlight. She also made a point of talking about why gay pride matters and how it affected him/her personally. Willam is smart as hell. S/he knows exactly what s/he’s doing at all times.“

And we are left with a dramatic runway moment: Milan’s covert warning to Jiggly.”The girls are gunning for you…be careful.” And Jiggly’s Knott’s Landing-like reply: “Which one of these stupid hoes is talking $%#! behind my back? Runnin’ they mother#$%!&* mouth? And you know what? Imma send they ass home.”

Get ready for Dynasty in the ‘Hood.

Thoughts Miss Things?

RPDR S4,E6: Float Your Boat-Untucking At Sea

Thanks to the Miss Things in the Comments Section for practically writing this post for me. Their astute observations are right on the money. So, of course, I’ll be stealing liberally from them.

“Put It Out There On The Runway Every Single Time”–Willam

So this episode started with the dolls throwing Jiggly under the rudder. Although the Queen doesn’t know if you can call it that. Usually “throwing under the bus” is a conscious form of sabotage. I don’t know if you can consider it sabotage if the queens are really just giving their opinion. And especially when the opinion was glaringly obvious. The float was the worst one on the stage.And Jiggly, once more, was unable to look at herself objectively and maturely. Willam to the rescue. “You have to give the whole show every time. You don’t save any tricks for later.” For the Queen, the blatant immaturity of dolls like Jiggly and Phi Phi shows itself in their inability to hear sage advice. Willam is constantly giving tips for which he could charge money. But these girls just don’t get it.

“Milan just doesn’t have a sense of who she is as a drag queen.”–occasionalblonde

Another piece of constructive criticism Willam put out was for Miss Milan, who like the aforementioned immature lady boys was not able to see the writing on the wall. She just doesn’t get it. As occasionalblonde goes on to say in one of her posts: “To use an grossly overused quotation ‘there’s no there there’.” Milan just doesn’t get the fact that the people she admires are innovators. She is not. And doing poor imitations of them only highlights their talent and her lack thereof. DON’T compare yourself to Kevin, dear. The only thing you have in common with Kevin is your penis.

“Dida Is A Girly Girl”–Dida Ritz

As the queen has said previously, he thinks this doll has potential. She has grown tremendously and continues to transform her look. Now she needs to work on that attitude. Dida, girly girls don’t win RuPaul’s Drag Race. They might get more dollars at Tea Dances, but they don’t win this competition. There are lots of pretty drag queens out there. But there are NOT a lot who are the total package of Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent. AND who are Somebodies who are about Something and Prance. And they pay attention to the detail of their drag. God bless Willam for his snarky, and accurate comments.

One Girl, Eight Queens

There have been a number of good judges on Drag Race, some are good because they know drag queens, some are good because they know the world of entertainment. Rarely do you get celebrity judges who know both. This little bullet-crowned Diva had it all. What a treat it was to have her interface with the lady boys. I’d like to say that I wish they would do this segment every week, but it takes a moderator who gets those two things in order to make it work.

Let’s talk about her visit…

In the next post.

I’m such a dramatic bitch.