RPDR S4, E14: RuPaul Reunited Part II

I have to confess something: the Queen wasn’t really very excited about blogging Drag Race. It was Bianca who convinced me to commit to it. And it was you Miss Things who made it one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

I know that sounds very dramatic. But I am, after all, a sometimes flamboyant homosexual male.
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FBQ Review: RPDR S4,E13-The Final Three: Continued (Unlike RuPaul, I won’t make you wait until next week)

The reason I’m being so hard on you Ru, is because you are THE Dynamic Diva in Drag. Not only have you changed the face of Female Impersonation, but you’ve done so in an entertaining and artistic fashion. You are a consummate professional. The drivel you put out last night was—at best—amateurish, and—at worst—insulting to the intelligence of your viewers. Let’s continue, shall we?
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RPDR S4,E11-The Fabulous B*tch Ball: One Last Untuck

In the Queen’s opinion, this season of Untucked was different than the past two, in that the focus was at least equally split between stereotypically bitchy queen behavior and a thoughtful exploration of Drag. Somewhere in between Jiggly and Phi Phi’s borderline schizophrenic and juvenile tirades; we also got some heartfelt discussions on bullying and acceptance of differences.

This was not an episode involving the latter.
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RPDR S4,E10-DILF’s Top & Bottom

Okay.

Where do they find these dudes?

Do they cruise Target, and follow guys with kids in tow who surreptitiously steal glances down the Maybelline aisle, and stare longingly at the Jason Wu Women’s Collection?
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RPDR S4,E5: The Snatch Game-Top & Bottom

When you were a kid, did you ever have a candy or other confection that you absolutely loved? Did you ever try the same sweet years later as an adult, and discover that it just didn’t taste the same now, as it did then?











Then you know how I’m beginning to feel about the Snatch Game Challenge.

Granted, there were still some stellar performances–but on the whole, most of the queens just don’t understand the challenge, or have the acting/comic chops to make their impersonations consistently interesting. In Season II, there were enough queens who were multi-faceted, old school stage performers. They had acts that consisted of more than just moving their mouths in time with the music, and it showed in their ability to be in the moment and quick-witted with their answers and characteristics (the Queen will go to his grave thinking Pandora was robbed). Like the show that this challenge pays homage to, there needs to be a self-aware cheesy kind of camp to make it work. Season three–and now this one–failed to deliver on the promise of the first fabulous parody.

So the drama continues between Sharon Needles and Phi Phi O’Hara. Yours Truly is so over Phi Phi the pageant queen–who is delusional enough to think that winning a few mini-challenges makes her the shit. Yes Miss O’Hara, I’m sure America’s Next Drag Superstar is going to be asked to hold an egg between her legs every day of her reign. I have always held the belief that if you’re going to be a pompous bitch–at least have the goods to back up your pomposity. She does not. Has she even been in the top three yet?

So it’s Condragulations to Chad Michaels.

Was there ever any question? I mean Ross the Intern had a great point about the risk of bombing at something that you’re known for, but all edited clips aside, she really is a professional. Her disciplined approach to the challenge is textbook flawless. But more important than the uncanny resemblance to her Goddess…she was ENTERTAINING. Funny and tongue-in-cheek satirical, she’s the kind of performer that you would actually pay to see. And other than having cosmetic surgeons (oh, and Miss Dida? THAT’S the way you spell “surgeon”) on speed dial, she seems charmingly genuine. Sharon Needles was brilliant, and Willam was wonderful (more of them and the rest of the divas in the next couple of posts), but Chad had me with “I’m Cher bitch!”

And it’s Sashay to Kenya Michaels.

Pushing the miniature Mean Girl stuff aside, she really is a little spitfire. And in her own country and culture I think she could have easily been a contender for the win. However I’m even more convinced than ever that the present version of RPDR is an American phenomenon. Like many of us Fierce Black Queens, RuPaul is heavily influenced by Pop Culture. Not having similar references makes shining in the present format almost impossible. Separated by youth and language/culture, I’d bet my next paycheck that Kenya didn’t have a clue to the shows Ru rattled off in the mini-challenge video this week. Her admitting that the language barrier had her dreading each day’s taping was poignant and revealing. The Queen just wishes that she had asked for more help, instead of letting her pride get in the way and creating that horrific version of Beyonce.

But this little Latin lovely isn’t done with America yet. I’m pretty sure we’ll see her taking Yara Sofia’s place in next year’s Absolut commercials.

Okay, are you ready to bash my face in for the shade I pay Phi Phi O’Hara, or love I give to Willam and Sharon Needles? Let the Queen have it!

RPDR S4,E2: ”WTF! Wrestling’s Trashiest Fighters”-Top and Bottom

Sorry for the deplorable lack of posts over the last few days. The Queen has been under the weather–sitting on his throne with a box of Kleenex and his ermine (faux, of course) bathrobe sneezing his black ass off. Please forgive! We’ve got a lot of catching up to do, so let’s get this party started!

Finally, judges as tall as Ru. WOOF!

Will wonders never cease?

When the Queen decided to blog on RuPaul’s Drag Race this season, he wasn’t really sure what he was getting into. Never having done anything like this before, he wondered if simply committing to watch all thirteen plus episodes would be enough to take any fun out of the show. After all, it was nice being able to quit Project Runway last season once Bert was out of the mix.

So what a surprise it has been to not only enjoy the first two episodes of Drag Race, but to actually begin to look forward to the next one.

So which of the contestants this week, to paraphrase Bianca: “Was Somebody, was about Something…and Pranced.”? Isn’t it a pleasure to have so many queens to choose from on that score?

So it’s Condragulations to Madame LaQueer and Chad Michaels!

Honestly, this was such a tough one to judge–which, imho, is a great thing. I actually spent the entire segment looking exactly like the judges: mouth open and squealing with delight. I thought the lady-boys did a phenomenal job for the most part. What a pleasure it was to be entertained by the contestants for reasons that had nothing to do with cat fighting or throwing shade, and EVERYTHING to do with talent and hard work! It was pretty obvious that Madame LaQueer was either getting the winner’s or the loser’s cut, so bravo bitches!

And it’s Sashay to Lashauwn Beyond.

Little Miss Thing really wasn’t ready for this. Not only was she green behind the ears when it came to creating her Drag (just watching her do her make-up next to a pro like Latrice showed her weakness), but she really had no clue of which way to go in playing the game. The neat thing about her is that she has an Old School aesthetic and real skill sets which will help her in the future. But first she needs to go home and get bitch-slapped by her Drag Mother for taking off her heels at the beginning of LSFYL. Hear that sound Lashauwn? It’s the death knell tolling for your time on RPDR. Good luck sweetie. Come on back next season and turn that show out!

RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 4: FBQ Countdown-Final Fems

Another season of bitchery, back-stabbing and fake fabulousness is about to begin. No, I’m not talking about the next joint session of Congress. Auntie Ru is back. Let’s finish evaluating the contestants:

Madame LaQueer

Another bravado-swinging big diva. Not a good sign when the Queen is more interested in what a contestant looks like OUT of drag than in. For a person who earns their living doing other people’s makeup, I am not particularly impressed with her own maquillage. While I applaud anyone who has the chutzpah to get up in front of people and perform, that doesn’t in-and-of-itself make the performer or the performance good.I’ll be very interested to see if this Big Beautiful Bee-otch can do more than widen her eyes and posture.


Chad Michaels

The Queen is of two mindsets when it comes to introducing someone like Chad Michaels into this draggy mix. Chad Michaels is a known quantity. He has a successful career and a strong following. While each of these girls is supposed to be a “professional”, there is a big difference between doing a few shows on the weekends and performing with Elton John. On the other hand, as Michaels himself says “…I’ve seen girls who have just started pull something right out of their butt, and send a senior girl right on home…” Seniority is by no means the arbiter of Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent. There is no denying that Ms. Michaels has professionalism and the plastic surgery bills and poise to spare. It’ll be fun to see how she comports herself with the “lesser” divas on the show.

Willam

This bitch BRINGS IT: beautiful, funny, down-to-earth, media savvy and professional. It pisses me off: she’s a fiercer black queen than the REAL black queens on the show! I am genuinely excited about seeing her in all of the challenges and ESPECIALLY on the runway. I definitely think that contestants who understand the art of Acting have an advantage. Being able to appear natural allows your personality to shine through. Whether we like you or not, we get to know you. Knowing how to play to the camera without letting it dominate you is a real skill. This bitch has it in spades. Not my favorite queen yet, but I have a feeling she could quickly become so if her actual presence is as engaging as it appears to be.


The Princess

The Princess scares The Queen. This is definitely a boy in a dress. I’m getting a very strong Morgan McMichaels vibe from this one–which isn’t necessarily a good thing. Talk about an abundance of testosterone! I see a lot of in-your-face interactions with the other contestants. Very sleek and sexy, it will be fun to see Mr. Princess walk the runway. I have a feeling he will be stomping it.

On a side note: why do these bitches think that having an eclectic drag style is unique? Do they not watch the interviews of the other contestants? EVERYONE thinks that having an eclectic style makes them unique. Sorry dolls, just because you change clothes and lip sync to Cher as opposed to Madonna, doesn’t make you unique.

Speaking of unique…

Sharon Needles

LOVE HER!!!

Not my style of drag at all. But who the hell cares? She got me to click on her image just because it was so different. And then she spoke…BRILLIANT. She was the very definition of Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent. An entertainer with a strong point of view, biting wit and presence to spare–The Queen is excited to see her on the runway AND in the work room. When you can create such buzz simply through a one minute, fifty-two second video, you know you got something. I don’t think she had a chance in hell of winning–given Rupaul’s penchant for style vs. substance. But what a ride it promises to be with THIS queen in the mix!

Okay. There you have it. The Queen’s take on the contestants. He would LOVE to hear more about yours over the coming weeks. The Interior Illusions Lounge will be opening shortly. Can’t wait to grab a cock…errr…cocktail with you and enjoy this season of the Race!