The Library Is Open

RPDR S4, E14: RuPaul Reunited Part II

I have to confess something: the Queen wasn’t really very excited about blogging Drag Race. It was Bianca who convinced me to commit to it. And it was you Miss Things who made it one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

I know that sounds very dramatic. But I am, after all, a sometimes flamboyant homosexual male.

RPDR S4, E 14: RuPaul Reunited

After the first season, I was afraid RuPaul was never going to get it right again. Until now.

FBQ Review: RPDR S4,E13-The Final Three: Continued (Unlike RuPaul, I won’t make you wait until next week)

The reason I’m being so hard on you Ru, is because you are THE Dynamic Diva in Drag. Not only have you changed the face of Female Impersonation, but you’ve done so in an entertaining and artistic fashion. You are a consummate professional. The drivel you put out last night was—at best—amateurish, and—at worst—insulting to the intelligence of your viewers. Let’s continue, shall we?

FBQ Review: RPDR S4,E13-The Final Three

No other way to say it:

This was complete and utter bullshit.

FBQ Cawfee Talk X

Please forgive me for starting your break with such a volatile topic, but my mind won’t let me think of much else at the moment.

RPDR S4,E11-The Fabulous B*tch Ball: One Last Untuck

In the Queen’s opinion, this season of Untucked was different than the past two, in that the focus was at least equally split between stereotypically bitchy queen behavior and a thoughtful exploration of Drag. Somewhere in between Jiggly and Phi Phi’s borderline schizophrenic and juvenile tirades; we also got some heartfelt discussions on bullying and acceptance of differences.

This was not an episode involving the latter.

RPDR S4, E8: Frenemies Top &…uhhhh…Bottom…and, errr…Top?

Well if that don’t beat all?

There’s a reason that many queens revere vocal divas like Judy, Patti, Bette and Whitney. And why we are drawn to movies like The Women and All About Eve: they deliver High Drama. They have us throwing our hands in the air when we hear them sing, or dabbing our eyes with Kleenex and gay gasping on every other line when we watch them in the dark, while curled up on the couch with a Diet Coke and bag of Orville Redenbacher.

RPDR S4,E6: Float Your Boat-Top & Bottom (NSFW)

This post is NSFW

I don’t know where it’s coming from. Maybe RuPaul had this in his five year plan all along. Maybe he had an epiphany between the last season and this one. Ultimately it’s not important. What is important is that this show has gone from being a guilty pleasure to a must-see, entertaining deconstruction of what it means for some of us to be gay, and the Art of Drag.

So the mini-challenge is to don breastplates and participate in a Wet T-shirt contest at Dragtona Beach.

If they keep showing the Pit Crew and hunky young eye-candy to whoop and cheer, then EVERY week should include a Wet T-shirt contest at Dragtona Beach. As John Polly and Jon Mallow bring up in their weekly recap Drag Ya’ Later with Jon & John: the show is going all out on these sets and extras; and my eyes–and a few other parts of my body–are very grateful for it.
The Queen is SO confused by Standards and Practices. I’m not sure why you can show a breast plate with nipples laying on a table, and a person trying them on in one scene; and have to blur the same device in another.
Anyway when all is said and done, Willam out-titillates the rest of the lady boys (to the further chagrin of Miss O’Hara) and does what he said he was going to do. I know one of the things that turn folks off about this Diva is his blazing confidence. I think it’s one of the things that makes him so interesting to watch. I could see if he didn’t bring it, but he does. It is SO much easier for me to deal with a cocky bitch who has the goods to back it up, than someone who thinks they’ve got it together and have no clue *cough*Milan*cough*.Ah, well. Too bad George Carlin isn’t around to explain it to me.

The Queen was truly moved by the incorporation of Stonewall into the episode. Bianca commented that this was the kind of gay TV that he could support. This is what he expected from RuPaul, as someone who has broken stereotypes about drag.

The TRUE Fierce Black Queen: Marsha P. Johnson 1944-1992

What a brilliant and pleasurable experience to watch Chad, Sharon and Willam school these guys on their history. What a forum to have for the young people of this generation! Especially when we are seeing one of the most significant rises of HIV in young men of color between 13 and 29. Young gay men have no real role models to guide them these days (if anyone had told me at 21 that those words would EVER come out of my mouth, I would have bitch-slapped them). Without history, we are condemned to repeat the mistakes of the past. I want so much more for the beautiful young men I see every day.

So it’s Condragulations to Willam.

The Queen has to admit that the challenge was a Drag Race version of Project Runway’s “Make A Pretty Dress” with a twist. A twist that Bianca and I believe made it quite difficult for the queens to produce something with any kind of finesse (more about that in the next post). But it was fun to see him be recognized for his effort. Bianca will correct me if I’m wrong (BOY will Bianca correct me if I’m wrong), but we believe there was a difference between Willam and Milan’s float and statement. A difference that highlights the meticulousness and confidence with which he plays this game. Bravo.

And it’s Sashay Away for Milan.

Proving once again, that there is a God.

I wish him no ill will. And I actually think that he could have a pretty strong media career (possibly as a newscaster–he’s quite articulate, and has a certain ease with the camera when he’s not trying to play a character)…just not as an actor. Please. Anything but as an actor.

Thoughts? Opinions? Musings of Fierce Miss Things?

Just between us goils.

RPDR S4,E5: The Snatch Game-Carol Channing is never there when you need her.

Let’s break down this whole Snatch Game thing and see what it’s all about, shall we?

Scurvy!

Pandora Boxx’s Carol Channing was the Gold Standard. Tatianna was good–very good. But any Drag Queen that plans on being in future seasons needs to use Pandora’s performance as a textbook example of the genre. What a blast it would be to have her–along with other stand-outs from the present, and previous seasons–be a part of a “Fantasy Snatch Game.”

The Queen’s Drag Race Fantasy Snatch Game Cast:

Pandora Boxx
Chad Michaels
Sharon Needles
Willam
Tatianna
Stacy Layne Matthews
Jujubee
Manila Luzon

You know what bothers me about that list? There’s only one FBQ on it. The black lady boys always seem to have a problem with this challenge. As your Self-Proclaimed Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent Coach, let me give you future Drag Race sistahs a few tips:

• 1. When picking your character, don’t just choose your favorite artist, choose someone that the audience can identify easily–through appearance, vocal and physical characteristics.
• 2. Find at least three catch-phrases, vocal traits and/or mannerisms your celebrity is known for. If you can’t think of at least three–pick another celebrity.
• 3. Don’t think that just because you create a flawless visual look you’ve automatically won the game. The top contestants are usually the ones who can also come up with character based answers to RuPaul’s questions. It’s not important that you match the real celebs answers. It IS important that your answers parody the celebrity you are playing.

If you want to get on the show, you should be practicing these things at home at this very moment. If not, you will probably end up in a run down of the also-rans. Like this one:

Jiggly Caliente

This queen could do SO much better in this competition if she would simply separate herself from some of the more lackluster dolls *cough*Phi Phi O’Hara*cough*, and hang with the REAL drag queens in the race. Latrice could help her get a much more feminine big girl shape, and Sharon and Chad could teach her how to define her overall personae. Instead, she probably does what she does in the NYC drag scene: chooses to hang with the girls she sees as “popular.” So her runway looks always blend into generic pretty. I’ve never condemned myself to the Ninth Circle of Hell and watched Jersey Shore, but I have seen Snookie in interviews. It seemed as if she got the look right, but she didn’t use the Queen’s rule about finding identifiable characteristics and interesting Snookie-like answers. Bottom line is that girl has GOT to grow up before she’s ready for this competition.

Milan

I have nothing to say. This is a competition for Drag Queens–not second string Chorus Boys. Milan, read my tips above and get the hell off my TV screen.

Willam

Beeotch was brilliant. From the name card, to the cardboard cutout of Simpson in the out takes, he was the embodiment of the Queen’s tips. Maybe Willam will weigh in (if he can), but the cutout proves that the contestants are given a head’s up of the kind of drag they’ll need to bring. Which means that they have time to prepare a character. Which means these other girls had no excuse for the dreck they brought to the table. I’ll give you that Willam is an actor–and funny as hell–but that still doesn’t explain some of the other lady boys’ choices. His runway look was SICKENING.

Phi Phi O’Hara

“Well, I do Gaga a lot. And I’ve been hired all over the United States to impersonate her.”

*Sigh*

Okay Phi Phi…let me break this down for you. Assuming you’re telling the truth, and the gigs are not your niece’s and nephew’s birthday parties, chances are that you are simply lip syncing to Born This Way. That isn’t the same as doing a true impersonation. Loving the way she performs, and being able to parody it are two separate things. We won’t even talk about your tired runway and fucked up eye makeup. Get your head out of your ass. It smells terrible up there.

*claws retract*

Dida Ritz

She really does make a very striking girl when she gets the drag right. The outside is finally beginning to match the inside. I really think with the right guidance (and a few spelling lessons) this diva could be the real deal. The Queen thinks she was on the right track with her impersonation, and even handled the shenanigans going on around her quite well (“This is worse than when I had Omarosa on my show!”). She was also smart enough to pick a great celebrity, since Wendy Williams IS a drag queen. All she needed were a couple more catch-phrases and mannerisms, and she would have been even more fun to watch.

Sharon Needles

There really are no words. Everything Milan isn’t, Ms. Needles is. She is the real deal. An artist who is “about something.” She knows what she wants to say and is meticulous in her creation of a fully realized character. I know that there are constant comparisons to Raja, but my understanding of Raja’s drag is that it’s more about gender-fuck than true runway. Sharon is always female. And it freaks Bianca and I out that even in the shock drag–she still looks glamorous!

Latrice Royale

I have to admit: this episode soured me a bit on our Mascara’d Matron. Maybe the bitch was just hungry and didn’t have time to eat, so she decided to incorporate her lunch into the character. She could have had so much fun with the Queen of Soul, but instead she turned out a one dimensional character that resembled Ms. Franklin about as much as Kenya’s Beyonce or Milan’s Diana Ross. Right now all Latrice has going for her is being a glamorous diva on the runway (…and her runway drag looked more like Aretha than her Snatch Game drag), and a wonderful personality and grounding force offstage. Without someone like Max Mutchnick telling her what to do, she really doesn’t seem to have much of an imagination of her own. And I hope she realizes that giving up and letting someone else’s performance have such a profound effect on you, that you let your frustration show onstage, is about as unprofessional as it gets. Step it up girl. Prove me wrong (because I know my opinion matters so much to you).

Who would be in your Fantasy Snatch Game cast?